Craigslist Post: A Cool Wizard

Craigslist Post: A Cool Wizard




I am a classically trained wizard seeking to establish myself as a working mage in Vancouver. I received my wand at Cool Wizard Academy, and robes at Thelema Abbey, where I recieved the “Gold Cauldron” for attendance. I have spent the last two years working as a Druids assistant on the Isle of Man under the Archmagus Feidlimid. However, she is now on an extended astral projection sabbatical, and I am taking the opportunity to start my own business.

Most of my previous clients described me as some sort of “weird Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw” hybrid, but I have refused to read the Harry Potter books so I cannot speak to the accuracy of this. Please do not bring up the books in conversation either, as they paint wizards with an extremely broad and offensive brush. My people (wizards) are not the comic stereotypes that JK Rowling would have you believe. Whether or not her books constitute a hate crime is not an argument I wish to delve into, either here on Craigslist, or in the real world.

Please: drop it.

That being said I am a laid-back (for a wizard) and easy-going (for a wizard) sorcerer, and I am ready to satisfy all of your spellcasting needs!

Good at spells and potions. Do NOT - I repeat, do NOT - ask me to enchant anything for you. It is my forbidden school of magic, as I specialized in Divination at the Cool Wizards Academy. I was going through some things, and trying to impress a girl, and it is one of the great regrets of my career. Anyway, it's the choice I made for myself, and here we are.


- Reply to this ad directly.

- DM me on twitter (@ACoolWizard).

- Speak aloud the first passage of the 50th leaf of the Voynich Manuscript and I shall find you. Wherever you be, I shall find you.


Divinations = $15.00/ divination.

Summonings = $17.99/creature brought forth from beyond the veil.

All other spells = $10.00 per level of spell.


Monday – Wedndsay: 9:00 AM – 4:30

Thursday – CLOSED (Wizard Sabbath)

Friday – Sunday 11:00 AM – 3:00 PM

My office is located in the alleyway immediately behind 198 West Hastings Street. Look for a discolored brick marked with celtic runes, and brush it with the feather of a white dove for admittance. If you see a homeless man out there claiming to be a wizard, please ignore him. He does not have the requisite robe or wizard hat to qualify as a wizard, and he is trying to ruin my reputation.


Mandallan the Magnificent

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